Yesterday Macy and I had a great day spending time together. She helped me run errands in the morning and was happy and chipper through out it all. At the library she played with the shopping baskets by herself for 30 minutes while I read my book. It was awesome. We spent time playing together at home that I hope I never forget. She wanted to "brush" my hair (which was more like making knots) and spent 30 minutes brushing and putting beebos (pony tails) in my hair. She would tell me how to turn my head and what I had to look at. Then I would brush her hair for a second before she would say, "Macy turn!" and brush my hair again. It was very sweet and made me so happy to have a little girl. She is such a little girl now and not my baby anymore!
Then today happened. Oh today. It was a day I wanted to throw her out the window. Granted she doesn't feel well so I should give her some slack. But if she doesn't feel well, why didn't she take a nap?! She talked to herself in the crib for one hour (which was pretty cute) but never slept. From 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. I threatened to throw her out the window a few times. She was so crabby, cranky, and cried a lot.
Then as I was rocking her tonight and singing songs to her she fell asleep in my arms. She was so completely exhausted she couldn't keep her eyes open. As I was watching her angelic sleeping face tears came to my eyes because I felt so guilty for being mad and saying things like I was going to throw her out the window. I'm getting tears in my eyes as I'm writing this because I miss her sweet little voice so much.
I think I have a really good day with Macy then a really bad one so I don't get too proud and think I'm an amazing mom for raising such a perfect well behaved daughter. I'm still learning how to be patient and loving, and not throw Macy out the window. (Don't worry I wouldn't actually do it.)